


with words we build and words we break

by alutiv



Series: make this world look new again [1]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Emotional Comfort, M/M, They're Not Good With Words, Three-Flat Problem
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-10
Updated: 2013-09-10
Packaged: 2017-12-26 04:46:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/961722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alutiv/pseuds/alutiv
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>And so there are two words they never say: the first, whom they lost; the second, what they found.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

John’s therapist kept insisting words would help, pushing him to _say more_ until the day he stopped saying anything to her at all.  
  
He doesn’t trust words, not for the important things, not anymore. Unlike the useless therapist, Lestrade understands that.  
  
And so there are two words they never say: the first, whom they lost; the second, what they found.  
  
Every morning, Lestrade makes coffee for himself and tea for John. John always was an early riser, but Lestrade actually has a job to go to (and no small miracle that, but _that_ discussion involves the first word they never say), and he always gets up first. Before he leaves, he places the steaming mug on the bedside table, leans down for a kiss, and whispers (in place of three other words, one of which is the second word they never say), "See you tonight.”  
  
They do not talk about the future beyond tonight. They do not talk about the past at all.  
  
Lestrade can't say why he drove past St. Bart's on a cloudless afternoon. John won't say why he was standing on the pavement, staring at nothing.  
  
"Come on," Lestrade said, fingertips firm around John’s elbow, as if guiding a blind man. "I'll take you home."  
  
"Where's that?" John asked.  
  
Never, Lestrade thought, had he seen anyone so alone.


	2. Chapter 2

Three weeks after John moves in, Lestrade talks him into a pint at a pub where everyone should be sufficiently focused on Arsenal and the Spurs to let them pretend they’re being social while they drink. They’ve just settled into a pair of rickety chairs in a far corner when a hand claps on Lestrade’s shoulder and a voice booms out, “Oi, look who’s here!”  
  
Lestrade forces a smile. “Carter.”  
  
“It’s been an age! Where you been, mate?”  
  
Lestrade shrugs, glances at John. Carter follows his gaze and breaks into a grin. “Oh, I see.”  
  
With a sigh, Lestrade makes the necessary introduction. If Carter recognises the name, he doesn’t say, just asks, “So, how’d you meet this one, then?”  
  
Their world has been so small for so long; they could forget that there are other people, people who once knew them as individuals but don’t know them together.  
  
After too long a moment of trying to come up with an answer that doesn’t involve the name they do not say, Lestrade says, “Work,” and shrugs.  
  
Carter takes the uncomfortable silence as his cue to wander off, mumbling something vague about having to “catch up later.”  
  
Lestrade hates the faraway look in John’s eyes, but it only takes a gentle brush of his fingers across John’s hand to bring him back.


	3. Chapter 3

The third night Lestrade wakes to garbled shouting and muffled sobs from the guest room is the first time he almost says it.  Unlike the previous two nights, when the sounds stopped before he reached the closed door, this time he hears the guest room door open and footsteps in the kitchen. He is waiting at one end of the sofa when John emerges, cup of tea in hand.  
  
“Sorry,” John says. “Didn’t mean to wake you.”  
  
“Didn’t. I was awake.”  
  
At John’s doubtful expression, Lestrade sighs and says, “Come on, sit. Drink your tea.”  
  
John looks surprised to find the steaming cup in his hand. “Did you want-"  
  
“No.” He has to resist the urge to roll his eyes as he stands up and reaches for John’s free hand. “I want you to sit down and drink your tea.” He pulls John the two steps to the sofa and sits down with him. Their hands remain linked as John leans forward to set down the empty cup, as they stand up, as they curl together in Lestrade’s bed.  
  
If he says what he feels, Lestrade thinks, John won’t believe him.  
  
Six months on, neither of them has yet figured out how to explain to the other that he knows what they offer each other is so much more than consolation.

**Author's Note:**

> This is a "Three-Flat Problem", format borrowed from [LapOtter](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LapOtter), who describes it as, "three related ficlets of 221 words each, ending in an A-word, a B-word, and a C-word. One ficlet for each flat within 221 Baker Street" and credits [corpsereviver2](https://archiveofourown.org/users/corpsereviver2) for the name.
> 
> The title is a lyric from the Gin Blossoms' "Lost Horizons".


End file.
